And Baby is Four

I must have blinked again because here it is that my baby is now four years old. To say I can't believe it is irrelevant as it doesn't change the facts. It's almost a state of disbelief, as if I ignore it it won't be true. But then I look at my daughter and realized that Father Time has visited once again.

Wasn't it just yesterday I carried her everywhere she needed to go? Fed her with a bottle while I rocked her gently in the rocking chair as she fell to sleep? When did she go from learning to say one word at a time to speaking in whole sentences, creating stories and sometimes fabricating the truth? My baby is gone, but for the constant sucking on her thumb as she falls to sleep each night.

I miss my baby so badly, yet I would be remiss if I didn't say that I also enjoy the little girl I witness blossom in a new way daily. Pumpkin's perspective on life is refreshing, intelligent, curious and often comical. She is no fool for trickery or bribery and she can negotiate with a union leader if you're talking more t.v. time or chocolate! She doesn't lie, she "tells a story." For every position you propose on a subject, she will have her own, often the opposite of yours. Rarely does a day go by that my husband and I don't admit that the days are numbered until she completely beats us down.

We celebrated Pumpkin's birthday with a trip to the beach this year and she was beside herself with glee. She surfed, splashed, swam and built sandcastles. She saw magicians and dolphins and various animals at an aquarium. She got to pick out her cake, which ended up being Ladybug cupcakes because after all, "I love ladybugs," she reminded us. There were presents, too, of course. One load while on vacation, plus additional treats picked up at each of our stops and more to come over the next few weeks as we celebrate with family here at home. With pride, I can attest that Pumpkin is a grateful child that freely expresses thanks at each card, ecard, phone call or gift she receives. Be it a sticker or a full-blown gift, she is appreciative and I pray she'll always be that thoughtful and respectful.

I must also make note that on the day my sweet baby girl turned four I found myself again watching her sleep and hoping that somewhere on the other side of the world someone knows that she is safe, healthy and very, very loved. Despite my often selfish nature, a good part of my heart aches for the woman who parted with this soul just hours after giving her life. I wonder if she realizes that life she gave my husband and I?

As the baby of my family, I know that my Pumpkin will be my baby no matter what her chronological age is just as I was always "my baby" to my Mom. While that does give me the latitude to hug, kiss and coddle at will, it doesn't stop the hands of time from changing this little being from baby to toddler to child in the blink of my eyes. Perhaps I should stop blinking!

Happy birthday, Pumpkin. I love you around the world and back! Big much!!!!