The week has come to a close and I'm glad for it. Referral news went from very good to potentially horrid in a matter of days. So, now we're waiting once again (or should I say as always) to see how much closer, if at all, we are to the baby. If I may take a minute to wax philosophical on adoptions; they are not for the faint of heart. I am learning the hard way that there isn't a whole lot of difference between domestic or international adoptions. When you commit to growing a family through adoption, the only thing concrete is your signature on the multitude of documents and checks you have to complete. That is it! We signed up for the China program because at the time the turnaround was relatively fast, the paperwork concise and the program was consistent. No "black market" systems to jerk you around, no unscrupulous fee mongers to take your money at the eleventh hour, just a program that gave needy babies homes. That has changed. Each month that passes increases our original "six month wait" from log in to baby. As present we are at 18 months and two weeks. And if you try and find out why there are delays, you may as well search for the Divinci Code or Big Foot. So you wait for something that you're told will happen, but with no indication what-so-ever as to when. And, you beat yourself up with "what if," "why," or "maybe we shouldn't have" scenarios and questions. You alternate between the joy and excitement of parenthood and the absolute depths of depression and anxiety over the reality of the adoption falling through. And, if you ask questions or try and seek comfort through whatever information is available, you can be chastised by your agency. Adoption is a trying, emotional, exuberant, taxing experience. If you cannot take it, don't go there. I can easily see where the process could break someone financially or emotionally.
Admittedly, I am a control freak and adoption is definitely something you have absolutely no control over. You have to have faith and hope which I historically do not bank on. Suffice it to say, I would not recommend adoption to anyone unless you are (a) a Hollywood starlet or otherwise rich individual who can pay someone to hand select a Mother/Surrogate/Orphanage for which to purchase your child ahead of other parents in waiting or (b) are willing to adopt through the foster care system. From what I'm seeing and reading, this is the only surefire way you're going to become a parent while you still have the faculties to do the job adequately!
Whew! Time to move on. Here in the confederate south the weather continues to be hot, humid and sunny. The latter being the main reason we came here; sunshine. In Pennsylvania you have the heat and humidity, but it comes with overcast skies that remind you of the bogs of England. Our new domicile is sunny just about every day which is nice. (Heaven knows I need as many mood enhancers as possible!) With the sunshine, however comes a bevy of critters that I'm not so fond of, including snakes. We're told that water moccasins are common here. I've only seen black snakes thus far and thankfully, most of those were on their way to the great snake pit in the sky when we met. We've seen only regular spiders, which is also good since the Brown Recluse is also common here. Gee....poisonous snakes, spiders and fire ants. All this for a little sunshine!
We've also had a ton of frogs here. I took this picture a few hours ago. The neighbor tells me this is a good thing as seeing frogs means no snakes. We'll see. I think I've counted twenty so far and it just seems like more and more are coming. Given that I was often called "Frog Eyes" as a child, maybe they've come to what they feel is their leader? Hmmmmmmm.
One good thing this week is that I received my first Swap from my 11 Moons adoption group. Each month they do an exchange and I finally signed up for one. I got my swap mates package yesterday and it was just a lovely treat to behold. As the picture shows, my mate in Wisconsin sent me an adorable outfit, two books and some scrapbook stickers. I cannot wait to put our baby in the outfit. Do you think she knew I loved red? And the theme of this month's swap was ladybugs and panda's (hence the commonality of the gifts). I sent my swap items to someone in Virginia Beach. It is fascinating to me that I am sharing this journey not only with people across the United States, but also around the world. My 11 Moons group has members from Spain, Ireland, the UK, Australia and several more countries I'm forgetting at the moment. There is a sisterhood of joy and misery that spans the globe. I find some peace in knowing that at least I'm not going through this experience alone. The adoptive community is extremely supportive of one another and there is a level of compassion that I daresay is less common to birth parenting. that has been one good thing about this process.
Until the next time....
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