Six Months; Can You Believe It?

I cannot believe it, but six months have come and gone since Yasleena entered our lives. The photo above shows (I hope) how this wonderful child has changed over the past many months since finding her forever family. I look at those eyes, the first thing we noticed when we saw Leena's referral photos, and think of how those same chocolate pools have pulled us completely into her web! I also like to think that the sense of unknown she appears to have had has been replaced with happy eyes that comfort, security and love gives a child.

Just tonight I watched an adoption video that brought back all the wonderful moments of the very day that my child was handed into my arms. The journey to motherhood was a long and often painful one, and the same can be said of the daily journeys we travel together Leena and I, but I still believe this is the greatest gift I've ever had. My husband and my child fulfill me in ways that I cannot express.

The most ironic thing to me is the double-edge feeling that I still cannot believe my daughter is finally here, coupled with the equally strong feeling that I had her all her life. The transition to motherhood on one level has been so effortless and streamlined that I feel as if I gave birth to this wonderful child. I would be remiss, however if I didn't also stress that the last six months have had their challenges, mostly my own, as I've adjusted a task/schedule oriented lifestyle where order is king to a less organized, often forgetful life where my needs are secondary. I've given up my business (well, it was dying a slow death that has not received any life support back here in my home state); learned to watch my favorite television shows from the DVR with lots of fast forwarding; watched as my beloved pets were taken to new homes; learned to eat the non-baby-friendly junk food at night after Princess goes to bed; actually started eating better so as to make sure the baby gets all four food groups each day; and, I'm truly only now starting to adjust to the tremendous amount of life changing events that have occurred in the last 180 days or so. I think I even made it through a recent bout of what I believe was post-adoption-depression.

While I know the future that lies ahead is unknown and that all the hypothesizing DH and I did in the two years we waited for our daughter to arrive about various scenarios from dating to drugs to sex to religion were most likely for our own peace of mind and will serve no real purpose when actually faced, I do know that I'm pretty ready for the ride. I've amazed myself at how natural Mothering has been for me and how I've only had to reach out to my Mommy Call Center a few times so far. With the help of my DH, I'm getting through this. On some days I can't stop holding Leena enough and (yes) there are those days when I can't wait until she naps or goes to bed or for DH to come home from work so I can go and hide/scream/vent or just simply get away. Thankfully, the latter days are rare. I know that I'm not alone and I find peace in that.

As for this wonderfully precious child that I've blogged about for the past six months, a simple "WOW" will suffice. She is animated, passionate, inquisitive, comical, strong, independent, gregarious, stubborn, loving and in the throws of her "Terrible Two's". She is now 31.5 pounds and about 34-35 inches tall, eating about 95% of the time on her own with a fork, talking more and beginning to let us know what she wants, when she wants it. It is a rare day that I take her anywhere that she isn't blowing kisses to anyone who passes saying "hi" and "bye" to all she meets. She continues to sleep well for us, eat anything we serve (sans onions and oatmeal) and be generally happy except when she is tired. She is now starting to mimic DH and I, so we've been trying to be very cognisant of this and mind our "Ps and Qs," which is hard given the current state of the world and my tendency to go from zero to ranting lunatic in five seconds!!!

In six quickly passing months, I have become a Mother. It has, thus far, been everything and more that I thought and hoped it would be. With all the wonderful bounty of treasures I have and will continue to have in my life, including the love of my life in my soul mate of a husband, I have been given the joy of knowing how great it feels to see my baby's face as she wakes each morning and feel that warm, soft body as it leans in to mine for comfort and love or to feel her little hand in mine as we walk together. Or the sound of her laughter....or the expression on her face with each new discovery....or her velvety smooth skin....or her each and every "first"....

I could go on and on, and no doubt will in future entries, but I hope you get the point. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who is equally so as a father to a gloriously delightful little girl that fate chose to bring in to our hearts to give us boundless love of which we've never known before. As with so many other adoptive families, we often hear "how very lucky she is" when the reality is we're all lucky. We are a family now, complete with ups, downs, happiness, sadness, joy and frustration. It's a grand and crazy thing that I highly recommend to anyone brave enough to try it.